Mental Math

What's really going on inside a fashion blogger's brain? 

What's really going on inside a fashion blogger's brain? 

Mental math is probably not the first thing you think of when referring to the fashion industry. In fact, it may be the absolute last thing that enters your brain. And that's okay. Because a lot of us in fashion would be okay with never having to write out the Pythagorean Theorem because honestly, we forgot the Pythagorean Theorem. Except for the name because it sounds fun to say.

As a fashion major, the only math classes I had to take in college were the Gen Ed that basically validated to the university that they tried their hardest to make me a "well-rounded individual for the real world it's not our fault she can't calculate 89% of 55 in her head sir", and the story problem math class that a literal child could do.

And trust me, I rejoiced. I walked out of that last math class at 4:45 pm on a Wednesday afternoon with a hand raised Breakfast Club style and shouting, "I MAY ONLY HAVE MASTERED CHILD LEVEL MATH SKILLS BUT GUESS WHAT WORLD I NEVER HAVE TO STARE AT NUMBERS AGAIN!". And okay, maybe I was wrong about the never staring at numbers part (what is budgeting?) but at least I could say I never had to take a course on the geometric properties of a triangle and what it means again.

But I can tell you the properties of a triangle skirt and what it means when worn with a high neck blouse. One thing you might not notice is humans with a innate fashion sense is that they are constantly doing math. Just with clothes. In our heads.

The way more fashionable individuals look at clothes is through a complex equation. Wearing a maxi skirt that is so heavy it touches the ground? Pair with a thin strapped shirt and bold earrings to balance out the heaviness.

Plunging neckline? Put on high-waisted jeans or long pants.

Put on a busy printed top with plain, black pencil skirt.

Turtleneck with a big sweater, wear no pants, a sheer skirt, leggings or anything else that says I actually wouldn't be wearing pants if it was socially acceptable.

Big hat? Short dress that shows your legs to make up for the how much of your face is covered.

Now that I've just told you the secret to every successful fashion stylist, I might have put them and myself out of a job.

But now at least the theory of "shallow" fashion has been disproven. We are born with the correct equations in our brains, constantly referencing a textbook that was never written. We're doing math there's not even a formula for. And that, is Elementary, my dear readers.


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