A case for mandals

Guys don't have a socially acceptable form of sandals because we stole theirs. And they're just jealous.

Guys don't have a socially acceptable form of sandals because we stole theirs. And they're just jealous.

I was sitting on a bench in the middle of downtown, people watching aka creepily cataloging passerby's outfits, when the thought hit me out of nowhere like the pumpkin display in the middle of Bath and Body Works IN THE BEGINNING OF AUGUST. Like I haven't even gotten to wear all my bathing suits yet or eat my hundredth ice cream cone, and there are pumpkins sitting in the center of the store like they belong. Stop smiling jack-o-lanterns, your time isn't for another two months.

Oh yes, the thought.

Why do men not have a socially acceptable mandal? Like aren't they hot? Shouldn't the male species have evolved by now to invent some sort of footwear universally accepted by guy code to be cool, sick, like 'dope shoes man' *complicated handshake they somehow all know*.

Sorry I blacked out there.


The type of footwear seen on the feet of hipsters round the brewery's are chukkas, boots, some sort of man flats maybe, but no man sandals. If ever worn, flip flops are the only type around. And who wants to see a dapper man, who did so good picking out his outfit that we want to literally give you a standing ovation, look down to see thongs between your toes. 

We sit back down. Hand clapping thoughts gone.


The Birkenstock sandals that women have embraced within the last season have been literally everywhere to the chagrin of men everywhere because we can wear them everywhere and guess what they're comfortable everywhere so sorry not sorry eyeballs of the opposite gender.


Maybe you should try taking back the "manly" sandal, and we won't steal them anymore. Or your jeans. But probably not. Menswear forever and for always.

*Drops the mic*

Cheers.

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