Hello party people. Happy Tuesday. You successfully made it past Monday which is an accomplishment in itself, so in order to celebrate let me throw some knowledge at you (or my lack thereof) about one of the things besides bucket hats women genuinely do not understand about members of the opposite sex. Yes I'm looking at you upper lip hair.

I'm sure there are men out there who disagree with my fashion style and would like to see something more "feminine and flirty", (excuse me i just vomited) but I hate pink and I also don't care. My outfits have a balance of ugly and pretty, therefore canceling each other out to just look unique. And that's just my opinion. When's the last time I was complimented by a guy for my culottes or Birkenstocks or baggy jeans?

Oh that's right, never.

And when's the last time you've seen a guy genuinely trying to rock a mustache gone awry with anything on other than a polo shirt or thread worn sweatpants?

Oh that's right, never.

The good looking men with mustaches have barely noteworthy said lip hair because they are DRESSING THE PART. See above Exhibit A. Suave Anon is wearing a blazer and combed his hair. Rocking the beanie, dress shirt, whatever it may be, mustache men are combining the ugly with the pretty. Denim joggers are the closest thing they get to sweatpants.

They care about fashion and themselves and you can tell. Step 1. You appreciate it. Step 2. You notice how good they look in said clothing. Step 3. You decide they are attractive. Step 4. Their effort to look good cancels out any sad looking mustache.

Girls dress for other girls 99% of the time, and if you think any different you're wrong.

So maybe mustaches, along with bucket hats and dudes dressing in calf high socks and basketball shorts, are simply men's fashion rules for their own gender. Ugly versus pretty. Ugly combined with pretty. Maybe they don't care. Maybe you don't either.

Maybe I'm making all this up. But I'll let you decide.

Cheers.